Mrs. Spencer and the goat (3)
The Hot Air Balloon
The pink balloon was very hot and very airy.
It put Mrs. Spencer right off.
“Oh dear.” she gasped, “this will never do, it clashes awfully with my bonnet.”
The hot air balloon was almost insulted but as it was thick skinned it said nothing.
She climbed aboard. The balloon winked at the goat who was waving cheerfully at them.
Then the goat grinned to himself and tapped Mrs. Spencer´s money, licked a hoof and turned the corner of each bill. Once satisfied he tucked the money into his green corduroy waistcoat pocket.
The balloon had only gone a few kilometres when it started to act up - act upside down that is!
“What the blazes.” screamed Mrs. Spencer as her tartan kilt flipped over and covered both her red head and bonnet, exposing an enormous pair of bloomers which, for a few minutes, blocked out the sun. Some local farmers are still blaming this incident for recent crop failures in the area.
Just then the blasted contraption flew headlong into the side of a cliff.
“Bless us and save us.” roared Mrs. Spencer as she slid awkwardly out of the bamboozled balloon and tumbled down. When she hit the craggy bottom she popped up her bonnet trashed head and declared to no one in particular. “Good sir, is that your dog peeing against the hedge.” Then she passed out and the balloon slumped over her.
She had been lying there for some time when at last a group of passersby spotted her and ran to her rescue. “Is she o.k.?” asked one, “She seems to be coming to.” answered another. “But what the blue blazes is this?”
In the hand of the concerned passerby was an eye!
Up shot old Mrs. Spencer´s wobbly head.
“C´mere you, that´s my eye you´ve got,” she shrieked.
Then she grabbed her eye and placed it carefully in her handbag.
Luckily enough it was her lazy eye so she wasn´t too upset. So without much hesitation old one-eyed Mrs. Spencer set off back to the garage to try out vehicle number two.